Wal-Mart: they have EVERYTHING!

As I discovered last night, they have virgins available for purchase!

Okay, I confess that that's not entirely true. While it may be the fantasy of mortals and vampyres alike that Wal-Mart have a virgin aisle, it would be akin to those with unfulfilled paternal or maternal instincts wishing the baby section carried real babies. Still, the truth of the matter is that I acquired a pair of virgins last night, and they are splendid specimens.

Since I have awakened, I've been in need of a day-runner. Eddie - that lucky bastard - has Cheryl, whom he took on in the mid-1970's. She is a true day-runner, in that he feeds her three drops of his blood every month, and she ages slower, heals faster, and is immune to disease. Without that tiny dose of vampyric essence, Cheryl would slip into a coma and die within a week. She knew this before she took the position and didn't seem to mind at all. Her point of view is that she would at least die peacefully.

Little did Eddie know what a true prize she would turn out to be. Cheryl has a preternatural ability to read the Wall Street Journal beyond the words and numbers on the pages. Thanks to her, Eddie runs his cons and scams as a minor supplement to his existing wealth, but he need not do a thing if he chooses. And while she took on the responsibility of checking in on me when Eddie could not during my slumber, she is not mine. She bound to Eddie and answers only to him.

The day-runner's responsibilities are fairly basic. During the day, they do that which a vampyre cannot. Last night, I was presented with a task that I would have left to a day-runner. I discovered I needed light bulbs. And just because I am wealthy beyond anything I could have imagined back in the 1860's doesn't mean I throw away money when I could save it.

A fascinating aspect of California is that this State remains a repository for runaways. There is an illusion that the west coast offers some kind of haven, as well as easy opportunities for dreams to be fulfilled. Too few find anything as wonderful as their fantasies, and the innocents drawn to this place find themselves doing things they'd never imagined when they first ran away from home.

Thus, I was not entirely stunned when this girl, little more than a child, approached me haltingly and asked if I was "looking for a party." (Honestly, these lines adopted from movies can be so cliché!) She indicated a companion nearby that, to be perfectly honest, looked terrified at the prospect that I might agree.

It was quite the conundrum for me. I'd made my purchase, most of the night still lay before me, and I'd caught their scent. The pair of them were virgins!

Tina was the one that approached me. She's a mere 16 years, wide in the hips, with the permanently tanned complexion of her Mexican heritage. What I found most enticing about her, aside from the sweet scent of innocence coming off her, was her long, lustrous brown hair. Even braided, it fell to her waistline.

Shay is a year younger, and has the most perfect ebony skin I have seen in quite some time. She was almost glowing under the sodium lights of the parking lot. The poor girl already looked adorable in her fear that I would agree to take advantage of them, but I discovered later that she was dazzling when happy and smiling.

I beckoned Shay forward. "Let me guess," I said to the two of them. "In a fit of teenaged angst, the pair of you ran away individually and came here to chase some dream that has been shattered beyond repair. Starving, homeless, and growing desperate, you accidentally met and teamed together. Now you are offering, for lack of a better word, 'services' to earn an embarrassingly small amount of money - because you will not 'go all the way' to earn the big bucks - just to keep your stomachs from caving in. Now, because things are becoming infinitely worse, the duo of virgins is preparing to lose what they're not ready to lose, and also gearing up to do things with one another, all in the name of hopelessness and money. Am I correct?"

Two eyes became saucers. It's my job to pay attention to detail, and reading their expressions and body language could be accomplished by the blind. The only supernatural aspect hinted at was my knowledge that they had yet to commit the most sexual act.

While everyone in the vampyre community is tainted by a line of evil that stretches back countless millennia, not all are so debased as to destroy everything that comes within view. With this in mind, three thoughts came to me, and one of them was actually a kindness. First, I could gain a pair of day-runners. Next, if not inducted as Cheryl was, they could be a source of nourishment for me for quite some time. Finally, I could rescue them from the nightmare of their current lives.

I offered them a life, in exchange for running me a few errands during the day and allowing me to feed on one of them each night. I would alternate so as not to cause either any harm. The bonus is that the blood of the innocent is energizing. A few sips from a virgin neck is a meal unto itself with my kind. The final rule I laid before them was that they must retain their virginity until such time as all parties agreed it was time for them to be on their way.

What, pray tell, do they get in return? Well, let's start with the guesthouse on my property, with three bedrooms, a kitchen, full bathroom, living room, and dining room. Room and board will be provided by me in their entirety. Their every requirement will be met, along with a monthly allowance of $2,000 for each; they can spend it or save it as they like. What they do with their nights is up to them, provided one is on hand when I awaken, and that no guests are ever brought onto my property.

And to their utter dismay, I have arranged through Eddie for Cheryl to enroll them in high school. (Maybe I'm more evil than I thought.)