Replies: Part 2

Up early again. Really, this kind of nonsense is irritating. Almost everyone I know is still asleep at this hour, and I would much rather visit the girls in the guesthouse than have them nosing around my home.

On the up side, I received an interesting e-mail has reached me, and I have decided to reply here. Once again, the message in its entirety, and then I will break it down.

Dear Mr. Miller,

I'm a young guy vampyre that was embraced in the early 90's. I was only 17 and my life has been a mess since then. The ones who turned me are insane and make vampyres because they can. They killed my family to get to me and used my brother to embrace me. It's not like I could run to my friends for help and Seattle isn't the capitol of Vampyreland.

The worst of it is that I'm stuck at 17. I didn't get to finish puberty and now I'm 17 forever. I feel like I have no place in the world of vampyres or mortals. Stealing for money sucks. Feeding hasn't been easy either because I don't know what I'm doing and end up sucking the blood of drunks. WTF am I suppose to do?

Is there any advice you can give?

Sincerely,
New Teeth

Well, NT, you have quite the conundrum on your hands, but I will advise you as best I can. Allow me to go through the ritual of breaking down your letter, and we'll see what comes of it.

"Dear Mr. Miller,"

Already, you have my attention and respect. A good start, young man, because the assumption that we're friendly enough that you can use my first name freely would cast doubt on the remainder of your message.

"I'm a young guy vampyre that was embraced in the early 90's."

I will assume you mean the 1990's, and not the 16, 17, or 1890's. Such details are important. In point of fact, by the standards of other vampyres, I remain "young" as well, despite my 171 years. There are those in our community that have greater faith in someone with more years. Armando Rodriguez, for example, who runs the NY region (which include the 12 northern counties if NJ). There is a little drama unfolding in my unlife over the fact that I am approximately 50 years older than the man he is currently using for my job in his region. While I may get to that another time, be assured that the specifics of your age are exceptionally important to some.

"I was only 17 and my life has been a mess since then. The ones who turned me are insane and make vampyres because they can. They killed my family to get to me and used my brother to embrace me."

Oh my. Let me be the first to say that I grieve for your circumstances. As you point out in your second paragraph, you are not trapped at an awkward age. This is merely a minor obstacle, though, when you consider that there have been fools through our history that have sired much younger vampyres.

Can you imagine being trapped at age 12? I know of only one still alive that was created at such a tender age. It took her decades to learn how to survive, and centuries to become powerful enough to oppose what was once law. Her name is Maria Santori, and whomever it was that brought her into our fold has been destroyed for the crime of turning a child. Because it was no fault of Maria's, she was granted 20 years to prove she could survive without serious aid of others.

She vanished. Yes, you read that correctly. Maria, under the watchful eyes of the Vampyre Council in Italy, disappeared without a trace when it was almost time for judgment to be made. For some time, it remained unknown what had happened to her, and records indicated that the council believed she'd surrendered to fate and faced her final sunrise.

They were wrong. What happened was that the one and only misfit amongst the misfits had learned the secret of the Sleep of Empowerment. This is a complicated ritual that involves sleeping for a very long time. My 25 years did not even come close to what she did. Without the proper ritual, I awoke with only a mild boost to my abilities. Maria not only completed that which is needed for empowerment, but slept for 600 years. When she reappeared, she was stronger and faster than the majority of the vampyre world, making it nigh impossible to follow through with any sentence that might be pronounced against her.

Consider yourself lucky that you were not 12 when you were turned, because now it is vampyre law that any such creation is to be immediately destroyed.

You also have my condolences on the loss of your family. I was forced to watch from afar as mine died of old age.

Oh...I will get to that insane group of vampyres later.

"It's not like I could run to my friends for help and Seattle isn't the capitol of Vampyreland."

Here, I must commend you on keeping your senses. Can you possibly imagine the mess you might have created had you gone to a friend and said, "My family has been murdered and now I'm a vampyre"? There are too many entropic values to even work out the situation mathematically. Whatever the results might have been, I cannot imagine any outcome being good.

For your information, Seattle falls under the jurisdiction of the Regional Princess, Molly Murphy. (Her true name is being withheld until certain facts can be verified.) Her base of operations is in San Francisco, and she controls Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, and Washington. (Territory in the United States is established using the Federal Reserve District Map.)

"The worst of it is that I'm stuck at 17. I didn't get to finish puberty and now I'm 17 forever. I feel like I have no place in the world of vampyres or mortals. Stealing for money sucks. Feeding hasn't been easy either because I don't know what I'm doing and end up sucking the blood of drunks."

Drunks?!? They are the "spoiled milk" of the vampyre diet! You might as well feed on vermin to survive.

As for being trapped at age 17, I believe I covered that.

"WTF am I suppose to do?"

You can imagine my confusion at this point, as my first guess was that "WTF" stood for "World Taekwondo Federation." Thankfully, a quick search on the Internet cleared that up swiftly and your sentence made sense again. I would like to stress that a degree of class become a part of your mien, even in e-mails, as you will be taken infinitely more serious without even abbreviated foul language.

"Is there any advice you can give?

"Sincerely,
"New Teeth"

Here is what I'm going to do. I am going to await a second e-mail from you. If you are serious about your dilemmas, then I will forward your e-mails to the Baron of Washington State, who will then probably contact the governor controlling Seattle. If you are a mortal playing some kind of game, I suggest you give up this up immediately. If you are who you say you are...

This rogue group of vampyres that turned you has been a thorn in the side of our community for some time. Without my services to hide some of the messes created by "dolts with fangs," there have been even greater disasters that many have scrambled to clean up. These lunatics spawning sirelings on a whim are a disaster, and I have been attempting to find whatever I can that might lead me to their source.

After contact is made by our authorities in Washington and you are properly educated, I will arrange for you to be given free reign over dealing with this particular problem. It will remove an issue from my growing list of tasks, and I can assure you that you will never have to steal to survive again.

No matter what you choose to do, I must make clear to you two things. Never, ever feed on another vampyre. Yes, your power would increase as you absorb all that is your victim, but it will also earn you the distrust of the entire vampyre community. The bounty placed on your head would likely have supernatural hunters appearing at your every turn. The other thing is discretion. If you bring our problems into mortal light, you will become a problem as well. Only if you wish to learn the exquisite agony of final sunrise will you make such a blunder.